Or, Santa Can't Possibly Still Get Excited for EVERY Christmas
Some nights when I was a kid, my father would come home from
work and tell my brother and me he had a surprise waiting for us in the pockets
of his suit jacket. We dug through until we found the candy or little toys he
had procured during his long sales trips or in between the endless meetings
that occupied his life. On many nights, treats or not, I remember him being
worn and depleted from dealing with challenging bosses and difficult customers.
Satisfaction with his role as a provider for our family was supposed to
compensate for those nights, and for the countless hours he spent doing things
he didn't much care for to be a successful businessman. I'm not sure that it
always did.
Summer, 2012 |
I am a public school teacher, and in June, when I stare down
three months off every year, and my father asks me what I have planned for the
summer, I feel incredible guilt. It’s not induced by him. He is wonderfully
supportive and proud of me and my career, and it’s certainly not because I think
I don’t deserve the summer break. Summer is part of the teaching package I
signed up for, a non-salary benefit offered and accepted when I completed my
student teaching and started planning my lessons. It just feels like he maybe
deserves a break a little more than I do.
Summer vacation is a relic, something that made sense when all
kids were farm kids. It was defensible through those great eras of the
traditional American family, the 50’s and 60’s, when gangs of kids were
released into their neighborhoods, unfettered until sundown, to organize their
own games of baseball and bike helmetless through their pastoral youths. Now we
know summer devastates the progress made during the prior school year. Kids can
only travel to the ends of their yards before the real and imagined dangers of
modern life conspire to snatch them, and pairs of working parents pay mightily
for someone else to organize their children’s baseball games.
Summer, 2013 |
We lamely claim that we actually work all summer, and we do. We
have district meetings and curriculum writing, we plan lessons and take
classes. But our summer work is not a daily, repetitive endeavor relieved only
by the late afternoon clock and the weekend. We are not napping on the couch
all summer, but the kind of "work" we do during those months looks
pretty sweet from a cubicle desk.
We also like to point out that our salaries reflect the time
off, and that is also true. With a few degrees and a professional licensure, I
don't make anywhere close to what I could in the private sector, or to what my dad
makes. But since I’m not on food stamps, my financial sacrifices are not
evident to most.
Summer, 2014 |
Above
all that, the biggest problem with teachers and summer is none of us seem to
appreciate it, certainly not with the profundity that non-teachers would,
should they find themselves with that much time off. At the start of the tenth
summer of my career, I am excited and relieved, but not like I was a decade
ago. For my first few years teaching, I rode the school calendar
roller coaster along with my students, counting class periods to the frantic and giddy end of the year. This year, that emotion is largely gone. The exuberance
never arrived.
Another
ten years in, summer will just be part of the routine. I imagine people who
teach skydiving start to lose the thrill of skydiving after doing it year upon
year. Santa must still appreciate the jubilation of all his present recipients, but at some point the routines of his chosen
career must have tempered his own elation over his job. And this,
I think, is what causes much of the angst over summer vacation - we stupid teachers
don't even seem to appreciate the huge gift we get every summer.
Early Summer, 2015 |
If I could, I would share some of my time off with others who
deserve it, like my dad. But things don't work that way. So I will definitely
try to give my summer the deference and respect it deserves, which is the
deference and respect that someone who doesn't teach would offer. Maybe that
will help.